âMm⌠no⌠thatâs my stash of goodiesâŚâ Wade murmured as he rolled over in the creaky bed, slinging his arm over the side of the mattress and feeling his fingers slap against something soft and sticky. The feeling alone made him lift his head sleepily and look down at whatever it was. âOh, hey kiddos,â he said as he picked up a sock, which was obviously slathered in something, and tossed it over in the general direction of the laundry bin. âDaddy doesnât have child support, check back next monthâŚâ slowly, Wade would sit up from the bed and rub his eyes from the sleep. He glanced over at the sheets thrown to the floor beside the bed, which were covered in crimson blood. Some his, some not. What a night, he thought to himself as he swung his legs over the side of the mattress.
Eventually he would make it into the kitchen and turn on the coffee pot, turning the burners of the stove on and spending the next twenty minutes making himself scrambled eggs and a cup of coffee. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a van with a man in the drivers seat with a mask on. He was driving wildly, no doubt readying himself for a crime. âGood morning, Deadpool, what do you say about disemboweling another bad guy today?â
Wade put his cup down and made his way back to his room where he squeezed his âtight assâ into his red tights and covered his toned body with the red and black outfit. Once he had slipped his mask on, he opened the window and quite literally jumped out of it, landing on top of a parked car and ignoring the smash of itâs roof and windows. âShowtime!â
It didnât take long for Wade to jump onto a nearby motorcycle and rev it into gear. Speeding off, he managed to come to the store front of a jewelry store where that same man was holding hostages with bombs. He hopped off of the motorcycle, walking sassily up to the front window and knocking on the glass. âExcuse me, Mr. Bomb-Sir? I was wondering if youâd let the lovely lady go?â He pointed to the woman the man was ho