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Archive 22 / i-dont-remember

Triggers: Accidents, Suicidal thoughts and possible attempts, smut, memory loss, hospitals, doctors, TBD!

Trigger Warning: Accidents, Suicidal thoughts and possible attempts, smut, memory loss, hospitals, doctors, TBD!

13:37

As his eyes opened to the world, he didn't know how he got here, he didn't know what was going on, but he felt a huge pain in his stomach, his head, his body felt like it was almost on fire. He adjusted to the overhead lights, looking around the room with squinted eyes. Not recognizing this warmly lit area at all, but he knew that he was alone. There were no other bodies around him that he could make out. His head was pounding as he tried to bring his hand up to rub it, a sharp pain shoot through his arm and down into his wrist, "What the fuck!?" he would softly exclaim as he would finally begin to adjust, "What is going on? Where am I?" Questions being asked to the air as he again would find himself alone in the room. Looking around, he would see a... what was the name of those things... a... TELEVISION! With weird numbers on them, he knew they were related to him somehow, but he couldn't explain how. He watched a line bounce across the screen for several moments before he looked down at his arm to see a wire carrying liquid through a tube into him somehow, he was beginning to freak out... At that time, a door would open and he would see an almost angel like figure walk in the room...

13:37

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"I see someone is finally awake in here" Camila smiled to the man who had come in the better part of a month ago after a bad accident. She could tell that he was starting to freak out when she had entered and she couldn't blame him, she'd seen many patients wake up from being unconscious and they almost always reacted in similar ways, some even going so far as to rip out their own IV's, she was thankful that he at least didn't seem to be that panicked, at least not yet. "Do you know where you are sir?" She came over to check on the levels of his IV's and then to take his vitals as she waited to see just how much he could remember, the doctor had said that his prognosis was good and that he should remember most of his basic motor functions and language but they weren't sure just how badly his memory would be effected. @Jake of Wands

"No," he said with a slight tremble in his voice, for a good reason, he honestly had no idea where he was and what was going on, all he knew was he was hurting and in a weird place, "I don't know where I am or what is going on..." He looked at her, almost with a sadness and distress in his eyes. He truly was terrified in that moment as he felt the pain in stomach almost double him over again as he fell in the bed slightly. He looked up at her with a shimmer in his eye that screamed help me as he groaned out in pain. He had flashes of memories in the moments that followed... A fire, a tree, someone strange, a figure in a dark light, and then nothingness.

01:33

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"You're in the hospital Sir, you've been here for just over three weeks." She could see that he was in pain and quickly adjusted the drip on one of the multiple bags attached to his IV to give him a little more relief until the doctor could talk to him. "It's completely okay to not remember much when you first wake up" She tried to reassure him seeing how much he was struggling, it was common for patients like this but it never got easier to see. The only thing that kept her coming to this job day in and day out was knowing that she was helping people at least a little bit. @Jake of Wands

"Hospital?" He questioned as he looked up at the figure, a woman, he knew that much, but he had no recollection of them, "Why am I here?" He couldn't bring his mind around any of this, why was he in a hospital, why... was he... who was he? What the hell was his name? Why could he not remember who he was!? It was almost infurating as he looked up at the beautiful brunette nurse in front of him, "I am sorry, ma'am..." he said, his Southern accent and charm starting to seep through slightly, "I wish I could introduce myself... But, I can't remember for some reason..."

02:40

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"That's okay you don't need to worry about formalities right now" She smiled softly at him and finished taking notes in his chart, all of his vitals seemed to be stable and she was sure the doctor would be ecstatic that he was awake and well. As for his name she felt guilty that she couldn't help him with that, with any of his missing memories. "As for why you're here.. you were involved in an accident, a bad one. The officers suspected you were either on your way to work or into town when your car was side swiped and flipped three times. You're lucky to still be with us today you know" She smiled softly at the man sitting in the hospital bed. "Do you have any recollection of what happened at all?" @Jake of Wands

"Accident?" He would ask, turning his head like a puppy who is confused by the sounds coming from the direction in front of him, "How... I... what!?" The confusion was building and building rapidly as she would explain what happened to him. The images of fire, a figure, and more seemed to make sense, but why the hell could he not remember something as simple as his name, "Ma'am, I..." he would begin to speak before sitting up in bed, groaning in pain as he did, "I have no recollection of anything that has happened to me in the last..." Oh God, why could he not remember anything right now, his head throbbed in pain... "I'm sorry..."

08:25

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"No need to apologize at all, like I said." She smiled softly. "Some memory loss is normal with injuries as extensive as yours" She gave him a sympathetic look as her say up further in the hospital bed, the pained expression on his face was hard to ignore. "Can you rate your pain on a scale of one to ten for me sir? If it's still too much I can see about getting you something stronger to help" She smiled softly and let her hand rest on his shoulder briefly before taking it away again. @Jake of Wands

"Indescribable," he would say with a frown, he had no idea what was going on which made it all the worse, "If I had to put a number to it... like a 8, I mean, I could manage, but it hurts... bad." He looked up at her for a second, a soft smirk would cross his face, "I am sure I will be okay though," he said as he would let a wince cross his face, "Especially since I have an idea of what happened. Do you know what is... hurt?" Words were hard right now, he was trying to find ways to describe things and his mind continued to draw blank, it was like he had all his knowledge zapped from him in that very instant and he could not remember his name, where he was, what happened in the last year, nothing... What was wrong with him?

13:01

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"I'll page someone to get an order in for some better pain management, it is harder to heal when you're in indescribable pain after all" She smiled softly once again at the man in the bed before sighing, she knew the list of injuries was extensive and she didn't want to overwhelm him but she also didn't want to tell him nothing when he was asking her. "Well the most severe of the injuries was the blow you took to the head, you had some pretty severe brains swelling and honestly we weren't sure you'd ever wake up from it. Other injuries include multiple contusions, 5 broken ribs 3 one the left two on the right, and second degree burns on your torso and right arm." She gave it a moment to sink in always feeling bad when she had to be the one to delivery so much bad news. @Jake of Wands

He looked down at his body as she described these injuries, almost as if he could see through the own gown and blankets that covered his body. The more she described, the more the pain seemed to move over his body, but in more of a recognizing manner. He smiled at his nurse as she seemed to read off his list of injuries, "Well, damn," he said with a giggle as he looked down at his injured ribs, holding them as he did, "I am surprised you didn't find more pieces of me everywhere. My skin must be strong..." He would let his eyes take in the room, looked to be by myself in the room now, no roommates, but the room itself was dimly lit right now, no use in wasting money lighting up a coma patient, but as his eyes finally began to adjust he began to take in his surroundings. Trying to find anything, anything at all, that could jog a memory or something for him.

13:11

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼ y

"I can turn the light on for you if you'd like, we try to keep it pretty dim in these situations so it isn't blinding in the case that the patient wakes up" She took a few steps over to the light switch and turned on just one of them, making the light in the room a bit less dim and much more warm. It was in the ICU so he had the room to himself, equipped with a crash cart just in case, a white board on the wall with the attending doctors name along with mine and one other nurses. "It is pretty incredible what the human body can withstand. @Jake of Wands

As soon as she would turn the lights on, the room almost became emblazon in white as he looked around with squinted eyes, trying to make out the room again. The light hurt his eyes, but he enjoyed being able to actually see his surroundings again. He would smile as his eyes caught the eyes of the nurse again, this time able to make out her features a little more. Her raven locks, almost brown, but dark enough to be called black, made her eyes pop as he looked into them. He couldn't make out the color, but they were unique, "Holy shit, you are beautiful," he felt himself say before he realized what he just said, a red blush covering him, "Shit, I am sorry... Shit, I shouldn't cuss, fuck... sorry..." He was beginning to become flustered with it all, the uneasiness of everything finally pulling over his body.

13:46

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

She made her way back over to his bedside before she heard his compliment and she couldn't help but blush herself, she'd been hit on by plenty of her fellow nurses and even a few of the doctors but most patients were way too preoccupied to say anything. When he became flustered and started tripping over his words she rested her hand on his shoulder again. "It's not a problem at all I've heard much worse, I am a nurse after all" she laughed softly "and thank you for the compliment, I'm flattered." She assumed he was only saying it because she was the first person he'd seen when he opened his eyes but still, it was always nice to get a compliment. "You should try to get some more rest, it may sound silly after waking up from a coma but your body still has plenty of healing to do." @Jake of Wands

"I feel like I just woke up from a twenty day nap," he jokingly said, "Last thing I would ask for is like ten more minutes..." At least he had not lost his self proclaimed 'natural' comedic timing, or did he remember if he had something like that? This was beginning to get god damn frustrating, he thought to himself as he looked up at her, "I know I should probably rest more, but... I don't know my name..." His eyes would almost seem to look frantic before he choked up for a second and his eyes began to look misty, "I know this is going to sound stupid, but... who am I?"

13:54

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"I told you it was gonna sound silly" She laughed softly but could see him growing frustrated again. She couldn't imagine the pain and frustration of not even knowing who you are. "I'm.. I'm so sorry but I don't have any way to help, when you came in you didn't have any ID on you and your phone had been ruined in the crash." "I know that it's incredibly frustrating and painful to not be able to remember but I think the best thing you could possibly do is rest and try to just take it day by day, most often in these cases memories come back slowly and can be triggered by the most mundane things like.. brushing your teeth for example." I hold up two of my fingers together in front of you "Can you reach out and squeeze my fingers?" @Jake of Wands

He would feel his whole body almost rack with pain as he looked down and pushed forward, it feel like he had tingles and needles going through his arm as he moved forward, but he would reach up and squeeze her fingers as instructed. Unfortunately, it was very much a weak attempt as he could feel his arm on fire, "I'm sorry," he would say, "It hurts like needles..." At least he remembered what those were, he thought as he felt his hand fall to the bed, "I'm sorry..." It was all he could do not to fall to pieces right there in front of him. Was he always this weak in his body? Was he so drawn to emotion like this? Nothing made sense right now...

14:06

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"Don't apologize you did great" She smiled reassuringly at him, she knew it was hard when people still had their motor functionality, to be able to use it at first. It was still a good sign that he could do this at all though and she couldn't help but feel joy about that. "That's good, your motor skills are still in tact. It's gonna take some therapy to get you stronger again but you'll be back at it before you know it." She couldn't help but feel sorry for him as she watched him laying there feeling weak. "You're not weak you know.. I know it may feel like it right now but you aren't. You're strong, a lot of people never would have make it through that crash." @Jake of Wands

He smiled as she told him he did great, he needed that right now, to be told that he was doing anything right because the mystery surrounding everything around him was just... too much to handle. He watched her as he looked over at her, "I guess you could call me Superman..." he said with a smile, "My name must be Clark Kent." With that he would attempt and fail miserably to do a little flex pose as he would look over at her.

14:32

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"Ahh you'd be the first superhero I ever met if you were indeed superman or should I say, Mr Kent" she laughed softly when he tried to flex and when the doctor came in she briefly filled him in on everything they had already gone over and then stood to the side to wait for him to go again. "Are you hungry at all? You have to start with relatively bland stuff to get your stomach used to eating again but I'd love to get you ya know.. something at least." @Jake of Wands

"No, not really," he said with a sigh as he looked down at himself, "Like, should I eat though? I am not hungry, but I feel like I should eat..." He couldn't remember his favorite food either, what was going on? He was growing more and more upset with the second. He couldn't remember anything, just his basic stuff. He reached up softly with his arm that didn't seem to hurt as much and rubbed the top of his head, the hair seemed soft, but unkept. He didn't know how to feel about that...

05:23

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

Camila could see him starting to struggle even more, the look on his face giving it all away and so she sat softly on the edge of the bed and took his hand in her own trying to soothe him in the only ways she knew how. Patients like these could go from and upswing to a downward spiral really fast depending on their mental state and she knew it was important to get him thinking positively as soon as she could. "I know this is scary and a lot to take in but I promise you'll learn everything again, what you like to eat, what music you enjoy" she smiled softly at his unkempt hair "even how you like to style your hair. It's just going to take time but I'd love to help you figure it all out? @Jake of Wands

At the mention of his unkempt hair, his hand would slowly, painfully move up to start swooping it into place. Why was he so worried about impressing her when he couldn't even remember who he was? He looked down at the blanket for a moment before looking back up at her, it was a strange feeling. Whenever he looked into her eyes, he felt a calmness that would rush over him. Whenever she spoke to him, he internally felt that everything was truly going to be okay. He smiled as she would stated she would love to help him figure it all out, "I would really like that," he said with a smile as he move his hand to meet hers on the bed, gripping them a big stronger than last time, "I really would..."

01:18

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"Good" She smiled softly back at him and felt dangerous butterflies flutter around in her stomach when his hand met her own on the bed. "First things first we need to get you started with some physical therapy so you can get your strength back, I find it makes a lot of people feel better when they can get up and moving again, a little more sense of normalcy." @Jake of Wands

"Alright," he said with a smile, "I trust you." The trust was genuine as well. He felt the same butterflies that she did when he just looked at her, how could he not trust her at his point. He would let her hand go for the moment, clearly she was a working nurse and needed to get back to it, "I won't keep you tied up, should I just... what should I do...?"

02:05

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"I promise your trust is well placed." This was her job after all and he wasn't the first coma patient she had dealt with.. He was the first who ever made her stomach flutter though and she wondered if she was crossing the line somehow. "I do have to make my rounds but I'll be back to check on you before you know it" She smiled again at him "The doctor should be in any minute to go over things more in depth with you and then it's sort of just a game of waiting between PT appointments. There is a TV though if you'd like to see if anything catches your eye or maybe I could get you some books or magazines?" @Jake of Wands

He would smile up at her as she would begin to point out the various options for entertainment that he had around him, he was thankful for them. They would help keep his mind distract, but also possibly help with figuring out who in the hell he actually was. He watched her for a moment, just taking her in again. Wanting to remember her features for a second before she had to leave, "I think I will be okay for now," he said with a awkward smile, "Have fun with your rounds. I will be here when you get back." With a joking wink and a small shrug, he would lay back again, staring at the ceiling, but racking his brain for missing information.

02:59

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

She smiled back at him and nodded. "I'll have as much fun as I can, this job can take its toll some days." It was true, it was hard for her to handle seeing people in pain day in and day out but the reward of getting to help them and see them recover made it worth it for her. She spent the next couple of hours on rounds and then taking a break to get some much needed food from the cafeteria downstairs, deciding to get a little something extra for the John Doe that had quickly become her favorite patient. When she came back in she knocked softly on the door before entering to hear the television playing quietly. When she saw that he was still awake she smiled and gave a small wave. "Did you find something to watch that you enjoy?" She asked before she took the mans vitals and made a note to replace his saline drip.

11:57

@Jake of Wands

He smiled up at her as she entered, almost in glee, "Good evening, ma'am," he said with a smile, "And sure, something about a Two and Half Man? But it is like two guys and a kid, so is the kid like the half kid?" He gave her a soft smirk with his, now realizing, stupid sounding question, but was happy to see her, "You made it back after all, huh?" He asked with a smile, "Everyone else good?"

02:33

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

She laughed and nodded "Yeah I think the half is what the kid is considered" She pulled up a rolling stool to sit next to his bed figuring it would be too inappropriate to sit on the actual bed with him. Her shift would be coming to an end soon so she didn't have anyone left to see after this. "I told you I would make it back. Everyone else is doing relatively well." She forced a smile at that question, everyone wasn't doing well in fact they were probably going to be losing a patient that she had been working with for over a month now and it was weighing heavy on her heart.

09:22

@Jake of Wands

"Well, I am glad to see you back," he would admit with a smile, "I am glad to hear that everyone is doing well, even though I have no idea who anyone else in the hospital is..." He gave her a look for a moment, but something didn't seem right, the smile seemed forced, but did he want to push her on the issue. He thought better of it for the moment and smiled back, "Look what I can do now," he said, almost with the enthusiasm of a little kid showing off a new trick, lifting his arm almost above his head, resting it towards the top of his head as he laid back against the bed, "I mean, it is not much, but a start, right?"

02:30

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"It's still a sweet gesture regardless" She said with a more genuine smile this time before she looked over to see the man lifting his arm with what looked like much more ease than before. "Are you kidding me that's incredible given how beat up you were when you came in here.. well you still are but you're doing much better than before." She felt her cheeks tint pink, she never tripped over her words like this with a patient and she didn't really understand why she was with him. He was just intriguing to her in a different way, at least thats what she was going to brush it off as for the time being. @Jake of Wands

"Thank you," he noticed the pink tint coming to her cheeks and his cheeks would return it in kind, "You are kinda cute when you blush..." The immediate embarrassment he felt, "I don't know if I am just remembering," he would start to ramble, "how to keep inside voices and thoughts inside or if this is just who I was. I am sorry..." He would give her a nervous smile, hoping all would be forgiven for the comment.

04:56

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

She couldn't help but blush even deeper at his comment, she had really hoped that he wouldn't notice the color in her cheeks. "I'm sorry I just normally don't trip over my words like that, I caught myself off guard." She let out a soft laugh. "Ah so maybe you were always a natural flirt then is what you're saying. If you weren't before it certainly seems like you are now." She smiled easily at him, she wasn't offended at all but she knew that developing feelings for a patient, especially a vulnerable one with memory loss was a huge no-no in her field of work. @Jake of Wands

"Maybe I always was," he said as she looked over at her, his eyes growing increasingly keen on just staring at her beauty, "I mean, why would I not want you to trip over your words around me though? I think that kinda means you are into me..." He would give her a soft smile, almost feeling his hand moving towards her again, he just wanted to feel the softness of her hand in his again. However, before he could do that, a knock at the door. Another nurse, dark skinned, black hair in a messy bun would reach into the room, "Camila, can I see you a minute?"

02:58

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"I-." Her words died in her throat because she really has no idea how to approach this. He was handsome sure but he was her patient, she was a professional and she had rules she had to follow after all. She was just about to try to speak up again to tell him as much even though a part of her didn't want to when the sound of the door opening interrupted. "Yes of course. I'll be back." She said with a soft smile before following the nurse into the hallway. @Jake of Wands

As the nurse would pull her into the hallway, she would grip her arm softly, almost a way of grabbing her attention as she saw the flirting that may have been going on, "We just got the tox reports back on your John Smith in there from the time of the accident," she said with almost a sadness in her voice, "I wasn't sure why it was taking so long, but seems like they retested and retested to be certain, but this guys blood alcohol level was at almost a .5..." With .08 being the limit in the state, the man was in no condition to drive at all, but why was she telling her this? "It also seems they found something in the car, a wooden box that seemed to be scorched, but not ruined or burnt into. There was a note inside however the ink seemed to almost melt off the paper under the heat. Police say they are looking into it, but there are actually wanting us to do psyche evals on this guy... Possible suicide attempt is what they are calling it..."

01:32

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

"Oh?" She couldn't understand why the nurse was telling her this now. What had taken the labs so long to come back? Had there been some kind of error? Were the results lost and reran at some point and then the chain of custody got messed up? She had all but given up on finding out his results awhile ago. "I mean we get a lot of patients that come in drunk I don't understand why you're telling me this..." Was the nurse just trying to warn her because she had seen their innocent flirting? The nurse mentioned the box and whatever note had been with him when they found him in the car. The idea of someone being in so much pain that they would try to go out in such a terrible way made her heart ache for him. "Well they can try to do them but I don't know if it's going to make much a difference given he can't remember anything." She spoke low enough that he wouldn't hear the two of them discussing what was to come for him. She knew that psyche evals could be a lot for some people and given the stress he was already under from not remembering anything it made her worry. Although, there was always the chance that maybe the psychiatrist would be able to jog his memory, or to trigger something that would help him. "Thank you for letting me know. I'm going to continue my rounds now." She gave a polite nod and went to check on other patients. @Jake of Wands

John would wait for a moment, staring longingly at the door, waiting for his favorite nurse to return, but unfortunately, it was not here that returned, it would be the dark skinned nurse that had pulled her aside from earlier, "Hey, hon," she would say, an almost Southern drawl coming from her, "I have some orders here to get some blood draws from you. Looks like we might be able to run some tests on you and see if we can find some family members of yours..." He didn't protest, even though he would hate the constant needle pricks, but he sighed as he held out his arm and let the procedure begin. Several hours had passed after all of this, and still no one... No sign of Nurse Roberts... He wondered if he had said the wrong thing...

01:58

@✧˖°.☪𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓲𝓽 ≽ܫ≼

Camila would have been lying to herself if she said that she wasn't mildly distracted while she was doing the rest of her rounds. She of course was perfectly capable of working and keeping her patients safe with other things on her mind but she couldn't figure out why the nurse had seemed so concered. Of course it's never okay to get behind the wheel of a car drunk but it didn't stop the thousands of people they saw because of it. She couldn't help but empathize with the man who was laying back in her favorite room. How much pain must he have been in if it really was the case that he was trying to end his own life? What could have happened that led him to make that choice? She wanted to ask him so many things but she knew it wasn't her place. She needed to keep a professional distance and make sure she let the psychiatrists do their job. It took a few hours but she finally made her way back to the mystery persons room, greeting him with a soft but troubled smile. She had never been good at keeping her stupid emotions off of her face. "How are you feeling?" @Jake of Wands

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