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Archive 18 / peace-of-a-deranged-mind
Triggers: TW: Abuse (physical, sexual and mental), mental illness, suicide, needles, drugs, more tbd This is a dark themed RP that both partners agreed to and will be discussed during to ensure both parties are happy and good 😄
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nakachu 25-Jan-23 06:05 AM
TW: Abuse (physical, sexual and mental), mental illness, suicide, needles, drugs, more tbd This is a dark themed RP that both partners agreed to and will be discussed during to ensure both parties are happy and good 😄
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 25-Jan-23 06:46 AM
There was a lot of noise coming from one of the rooms in the west wing of the Meriad Mental Health Institution, of MMHI for short. Loud singing and shouting, all produced by the voice of one girl. Outside her cell many had gathered to see what was going on. Some finding the display before them entertaining, others not so much. “Is she at it again?” One of the nurses asked as they walked by, their curiosity spiked by the many doctors that had gathered. “Yes.. how the hell did it get a pencil into it’s room?” One of the doctor said, not even addressing the girl by her gender, let alone see her as a human being at all. “No idea, but we need to get it from her. 839 can not be trusted with a sharp object like that.” Another doctor spoke as he sighed. That last doctor would turn to the nurse. “Please fetch me a diazepam injection.” He ordered them. “Of course Dr. Burke.” They said before they were off to fetch the medication. While that whole conversation was taking place. Patient 839 was barely even aware of the commotion outside of her room. She was in a good mood, a happy mood even. Able to take a coloring pencil from the common room into her own. Her white room with padded walls finally being filled with some color as she had dragged it all over the walls. She had make polka dots on her pillow case, drew flowers on the walls, and even wrote her number down on the ground in large bold markings. All the while singing songs at the top of her lungs that she remembered from a long, long time ago. But that ended when that door suddenly opened behind her. Her head instantly turning towards it, her blond hair following it. It was quite knotted and not taken care of, the clothes on her body to big on her as well and hiding her skinny form underneath. “839, give me the pencil.” Dr. Burke said as he came inside alone with two nurses before that door closed again. “No..” she said softly, clutching the pencil to her chest. “839, this is your last warning, give me the penc
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il.” He tried once more. “You know what happens if you do not listen to me.” There was a threat in his voice, one that seemed to shake the girl to her very beings. She clenched her jaw as she thought about it, grinding her teeth over each other. She was neither complying, nor answering to him. “Pin her down.” The sudden command shaking her out of it as the nurses came her way. “No..no.. no!” She shouted, but her responds was to late and she was soon pinned to the padded wall by her shoulders. Dr. Burke came closer to her and would place a hand roughly under her chin. “Should have listened to me, sweetheart.” He said as he brought that injection needle up into her view. Her eyes panicked right before her head was roughly forced to the side and that needle found the vein at the side of her neck, pushing the diazepam into her system. It did not take long for her body to go limp against the nurses that held her, her eyes slumping half closed and her mind becoming foggy. That pencil that she had been clutching in her hand falling to the ground. “Put her in the chair, she can stay there till dinner. That way she won’t cause anymore problems.” Dr. Burke stated as he let go of her chin and watched it just dangle downwards. He then moved to pick up the pencil that she had dropped and put it away in his pocket. The nurses dragged her over to a chair that was in one of the corners of the room. Her hands and ankle bound by leather straps that were lined with soft padding so she couldn’t hurt herself, a strap even going around her waist so keep her seated. Perhaps the good doctor would have done more to the girl in the chair, but in that moment it was day time and there were too many eyes pointed at that room. Once he left, Dr. Burke would be met with a less familiar face. Another patient from another ward and it would make him raise an eyebrow. “He is from the re-integration program Dr. Burke.” A nurse helped him. The re-integration program was a program that was set up
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For mental health patients who were close to being discharged. To teach them how to deal with the world outside they were giving jobs within different wards. “Perfect. Fetch him a bucket. He can clean 839’s walls.” He smiled down at the guy before leaving once more like nothing had just happened inside that room. @lucraz
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nakachu 25-Jan-23 06:51 AM
The facts :D
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Kaine Wright BOT 25-Jan-23 08:36 PM
The scene before Kaine was apparently not an uncommon one. At least insofar as the girl everyone was watching was commonly the center of a crowd of attention. He’d heard of the girl, of course, the rather infamous Patient 839, kept in her cell that had transformed into a cage. The rumors that surrounded her made up more than half of the gossip in the entire hospital and every brief appearance she had publicly made only provided more fuel to the whirlpool of words. However, she had little to nothing to do with him. The only reason Kaine paid any attention to her at all was to make the most normal conversation he could with everyone else. Distasteful conversation, but one tended to have little choice in topics in a mental hospital. Now though Patient 839 was about to become much more than a number for him. Having worked for years to prove his self-reliance and stable mental state, he had slowly worked through the hospital’s laborious and bureaucratic release process. His current step was to work for the hospital’s “re-integration” program, supposedly a program that tested and gave patients a chance to perform tasks and duties that would be essential and needed in the outside world. It certainly served as a free janitorial service at least. Incidentally of course. But that was Kaine’s current ordeal and certainly not the worst he had overcome. Granted, he had not expected it to put him in contact with the hospital’s most infamous patient, but he had vowed to let nothing stop him from leaving this place and the most surveilled patient in the hospital wouldn’t be the one to stop that. blankspace
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So when Patient 839 had begun singing and using her contraband colored pencil, Kaine had simply responded to the call made while he was on shift and quietly waited outside her cage until told his services were required. He couldn’t lie that sedating a girl and taking away her one source of enjoyment for the day, week most likely, was rather cruel, but his was certainly not an opinion the staff was looking for. So as the doctor condescendingly acknowledged his existence Kaine walked into the room that had been secured for him, basic cleaning supplies in tow with more on the way. The sky-blue markings of the pencil almost seemed to paint an idyllic scene, scrawled on the off-white of the padded walls to make a mosaic of flowers that looked carved out of clouds. The number that served as her name coating the floor was certainly less quaint and more off-putting, but the polka dot pillow case contrasted it nicely in his opinion. It certainly was frustrating to have such a cleaning job be one of his first assignments in the program, but he’d just have to focus and hope that the monochrome tone of the walls helped him more than any of the patients forced to look at him. So he stripped the pillow case and rest of the sheets, figuring the doctors would want to make sure nothing was hidden there and also to deny her comfort, and mopped the floors after that was brought to him. The walls would require more focus since there was only so much that could be explained under the guise of being thorough. So doing his best to make sure not to touch anything that moved he slowly moved from one wall to the other, amazed that so much had been covered in such a short time. blankspace
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When he arrived closer to the chair the girl had been so needlessly restrained in, her sudden moan of confusion and alarm at his presence startled him, breaking his intense focus. As she began to look around, as much as her restraints would let her at least, he met her eyes, cloudy with the drugs pumped into her, but still looking straight at him, almost seeing through him at the moment. Kaine looked around with alarm, making sure only the routine surveillance was around and no doctors were paying her the extra scrutiny they tended to. But it seemed the coast was clear and as he turned back to her she was still looking at him, eyes gazing up at him from beneath her messy blonde hair, almost seeming to question who he was and why he was there. With the lack of eyes on him, even Kaine’s voice of better judgment couldn’t prevent him from moving closer. Making sure not to touch her and also trying to keep up the appearance of cleaning, Kaine leaned over and whispered out of the corner of his mouth to her. “Hey there, what’s your name? I’m Kaine. Looks like you enjoy coloring huh?” He asked, trying to keep his voice gentle, as if he didn’t want to frighten a startled animal. @nakachu
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 25-Jan-23 09:11 PM
When the world came back to her she could still feel her head swimming. Her eyes only slowly opening as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. The drugs still making her drowsy and confused. But it did not take her long to recognize there were more sounds in the room that were not supposed to be there. She would raise her head and couldn’t help the soft sound of surprise that escaped her as there was someone in that room. She pulled at the cuffs ones before looking down and realizing where she was. The sigh that followed almost one that spoke the words ‘great, this again’. She put her head back again as her eyes came up to meet with his. Her eye half hooded from the drowsiness and her head leaning back against the chair as if she could not hold it up by herself. Only when he moved closer did she seem to push herself further back in that chair, trying to put more distance between them. “No..!” She tried to say with a stern voice, but she still mostly sounded sleepy. Yet then he stopped, his cloth stil moving over her walls and spoke to her. The questions came so unexpected, her mind still to foggy to fully understand what he was doing or asking of her. “Kaine..” she repeated his name. A soft chuckle followed that seemed to come out of nowhere and had no reason to be there. She rolled her head around till it was once more leaning back and the chuckle left just as quickly as it had come as she stared at the ceiling. “They took my pencil..” it wasn’t a question, just a simple statement as she seemed to realize what had just happened before she had blacked out. “My flowers..” Her hand once more moving in the cuff in an unconscious movement where she wanted to brush her hair out of her face, but once more held back by the cuffs. An obvious sound of irritation coming out of her at how she had been robbed off her movement. @lucraz
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Kaine Wright BOT 31-Jan-23 05:55 PM
The reactions she gave to his rather soft approach cemented the perception of her feral-ness, the sharp jerk back and odd pause feeling like movements far more suited to startled prey than an actual human being. While her answers could be considered coherent, and her memory certainly seemed intact, the broken nature of the return almost certainly spoke of a lack of social skills. Granted that probably could have been guessed by anyone with half a picture of just the rumors around 839, but still, having the actual raw reactions in front of you really hammered the reality of the situation into Kaine. “Yeah, I’m sorry that they took your pencil. You seemed like you were having a lot of fun and I thought your flowers were really pretty,” Kaine said, his voice as soft and monotone as he could make it, while still not quite facing her directly, both to make it look like he wasn’t talking to her, but also because he wasn’t sure what reaction he would get if he made eye contact. “The re- the polka dots on your pillow was also a pretty nice touch, but the pencil marks might have irritated your skin, so I did have to take them off,” he continued, trying to at least soften some of what he’d done to the room. He could see the frustrated look on her face, how she obviously didn’t want to be restrained in the chair, but Kaine just wasn’t sure what he could do. He wanted to help of course, he wasn’t a fan of people being hurt in front of him, but he also had to look after himself, and messing with the hospital’s prize patient was likely to make things worse for him than they had been when he was first admitted. “I can see that you want to be free and you want to draw, but you have to show that the doctors can trust you okay? So if you stay still as I finish the walls around you, maybe they’ll let me come back and talk to you? Or if you would prefer, I could draw with you too?” He asked, seeing if she had any ability to reason still contained within her. @nakachu
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 01-Feb-23 05:51 AM
Even if he had been looking in her direction, she would have likely not noticed. Her own eyes staring towards the floor where her number had previously been boldly drawn into the ground. It had been the piece she had worked on the longest, angrily even. Only after had she calmed down and instead chose to decorate her room with the flowers she had drown and the polka dots on her pillow case. That number stood for so many things for her and none of them were pleasant. Her brain would swim as he continued his story. A part of her wanting to accept what he was saying, that her room was better with the pencil marks gone, another part of her simply bored of the color white that was all around her and wanting them back. “It’s so.. white..” her head falling back again as she looked over the freshly cleaned walls and then to his hand that was working on those last few marks. It made her feel angry, her face only becoming more frustrated. She once more pulled at the restraints around her arm, wanting to reach out and stop him, only to be limited in her movement. She suddenly shouted out in an angry grunt as she pulled at it harder, obviously wanting lose. “I can see that you want to be free and you want to draw, but you have to show that the doctors can trust you okay?” His words stopped her in her tracks and she slumped down in the chair, her eyes going to him and her head leaning to the side just slightly, a few strands of hair still over her face. Another of those chuckles leaving her that didn’t seem to make sense. Like he had told a joke that only she understood. And perhaps that was exactly what was going on. Because doctor’s trusting her? They had learned already that she couldn’t be. Yes she did sit back and the idea of him coming back to draw with her seemed to make her eyes become just a bit more lively. “You.. would..?” Her voice still weak and small, yet something there made it clear that she didn’t understand why he would. Her eyes now fully on him and
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if he were to turn towards her she would meet them without moving till he answered her. @lucraz
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Kaine Wright BOT 08-Feb-23 07:45 PM
As Kaine glanced over towards the struggling girl, her angry noises and jerks frightening him as she raged against the restraints binding her. Not frightened for his own safety though, but rather of the possibility that the doctors would take her actions as a sign of aggression or fear towards him and use it as an excuse to continue their treatment of her. So when his soothing tone of voice got her to calm down and even more surprisingly, respond to him, he couldn’t help but turn to face her and see those pale eyes staring at him so unnervingly. “Uh, yeah, I would.” Kaine tried to stammer out under the intense gaze of patient 839, the contrast to her earlier manner startling. The gaze and soft question still belonged to a young woman however, one so obviously lost and alone, that he couldn’t help but try to offer up some firmer reassurance. “I mean, yes I would like to. Either talking or taking you out to one of the common areas. I think that maybe that would be good for both me and you,” He stated, now clearly and steadily meeting her gaze with one of his own. “I can’t promise how soon it would happen or how exactly I would go about getting the doctors to approve of it, but I’ll try.” blankspace
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Kaine returned to the job he had been assigned, breaking eye contact finally, realizing that for some reason he hadn’t blinked at all during that little exchange. “But if we want to do that we’ll have to not give any excuses to the doctors to deny that,” Looking over at the disheveled blonde girl, the reality of the situation broke through the fanciful planning however. “Though I’m sure they really don’t need any reasons at all to do what they do to you do they? Still, I don’t really know any other way myself. I’ve only just managed to convince them I might be well enough to leave here and I think that’s mostly because they just don’t really care.” He mused, the morose thoughts casting a pall over the potential he saw. “For now though, why don’t you go ahead and tell me your name though? That way at least one person here won’t call you by some random number.” @nakachu
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 12-Feb-23 04:00 AM
The more he talked, the more she seemed to sink back in her chair. Her head tilting just slightly as if she was trying to make sense of him. Her wispy blond hair still blocking out part of her face, now seeming to not bother her as much as she looked at the guy in her room with more clarity then before. Her eyes focused on his mouth and eyes as he spoke, especially once he turned to face her as well. She almost made a sound of annoyance and complaint when they left her again to stare back at the wall and get the last bits of that colored pencil away from the wall and make them perfectly white and clean again. “Though I’m sure they really don’t need any reason at all to do what they do to you do they?” Her eyes shot back up to him before instantly shooting down to the ground. The rest of his words not seeming to get to her as memories flooded her brain. Memories that seemed to live in her mind free of charge and pop up whenever they wished to, the very memories that haunted her in that clean white room that he was putting back in a state that made it seem like it wasn’t as much as a horror room as it had become to her. Her eyes cast down to her lap and her hands balled into fists as she starting to shake ever so slightly at the darkness that had suddenly grown in her head. Yet she did not fight against the restraints, she did not shout or curse, neither did se laugh. No instead she started to mumble softly to herself. To Kaine this mumbling might seem strange and out of place, but every single doctor that had treated her before had heard it a thousand times. An old nursery rhyme, taught to her by her parents before she had been put in this mental institutions. A rhyme that to this day was the only thing she found would calm her mind and push the dark thought and memories that haunted her back to somewhere deep inside of her. “A, was the archer who shot at a frog.. B, was Bo-peep, with her crook and her dog.. C, was the cow that jumped over the moon.. D, w
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as the dish that ran oof with the spoon..” @lucraz
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Kaine Wright BOT 14-Feb-23 06:54 PM
He was never going to get that name, was he? They say the third time’s the charm but apparently either her name was a sore spot for her or everything else Kaine had said had backfired. Granted some stranger coming in and removing every trace of the marks you had tried so hard to leave on the little cell that comprised your world probably wasn’t a good starting point, but that was the only reason Kaine was even here in the first place. A small part of him wondered if it was even the simple ending of the eye contact that had set her off as if losing that small kind of human connection had caused her to sink back into herself. He didn’t really have much time to muse however as she quickly retreated back into some safe space inside of herself. At least as safe as she could make it. So Kaine simply let the girl continue to mutter her nursery rhyme and with the last smidge of colored pencil removed, there was no longer any excuse for him to be there. With one last forlorn look at the shaking and mumbling girl, he picked up his cleaning supplies and left, left with only the small hope that anything he had said had left some kind of positive impact, though the kind of conversations one had in a mental hospital didn’t really give a chance to properly measure your social skills. So with a nod to the nurse that his job was done, Kaine went about his business of putting everything back and went down to the small closet they called his office to write up a report, oblivious to the doctor’s watchful eyes that followed him through the security cameras. @nakachu
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 17-Feb-23 09:18 PM
She had to make it to the end of the song, had to finish the rest of the alphabet. She could not forget a single word or she was convinced that it would not work. So even if she was aware of him still cleaning her room and even eventually of him leaving that room, she could not stop her little chant to say anything to him. By the time she did finish it, he was long gone. She was left in that same chair for another hour after Kaine had left. The drugs that had been giving to her making her sleepy enough to slowly doze off with nothing around her to keep her attention. Because of that she did not hear it when her door once more opened and closed once more. Only when that familiar chuckle filled the air did her eyes shoot open. “Hello 839.” Her eyes shot up to him. The drugs still doing their job and keeping the worst of her panic at bay, yet her heart was already racing. Because she knew one thing for sure. Dr. Burke was not her friend. He walked closer to her till he was right in front of that chair, towering over her and even going as far as to lean forward and put a hand against the wall, trapping her in a small space that was made almost entirely from his body. She tried to avert her eyes away from him, to move her face to the side. But his hand already came back to her hair and pulled her head back roughly. “Should have given me that pencil when I asked. I warned you bad things would happen if you don’t listen to me.” There was a dangerous smile on the doctor’s face. The hand on the wall leaving and reaching into his pocket inside. “Why don’t we get you bathed?” He suggested. “N-no..” Mia managed out loud before that familiar sight of that syringe came into her sights once more, knowing she had no way to fight it. She could feel the corners of her eyes tearing up. “Don’t be like that.” He warned her, a raw edge to his voice as he pulled her head to the side and once more plunged that needle into her vein. “Should have been a good girl.” When she came by
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again she was disoriented. Her eyes opening slowly as the world spun around her. She felt her stomach turn and would hurl herself over the edge of the bed, just to find her arm being jerked back by the cuff that she was chained with. Yet she found the edge and empties her stomach over the side, couching and heaving before she laid back on the bed. After a few deep breaths and finding her vision steadying she assessed what was happening. She was only cuffed by her arm on one side. The side closest to the wall. It allowed her to put herself in a sitting position, her knees pulled up to her. Her hair was still wet from the shower, seeming messy and tossed. She was wearing a long nightgown that if she was standing up would probably reach till past her knees. Her eyes the stared at the small splash of bile on the ground. She knew someone would come to clean that.. @lucraz
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Kaine Wright BOT 20-Feb-23 09:39 PM
The hospital continued on as normal, even if Kaine’s unsettling encounter with patient 839, made it feel as if though something should have changed. But the report was much as usual, a simple document of what was cleaned and the supplies required to do so. Really nothing that should even warrant a report, but this hospital either made money from how much paperwork was done inside it or the building was sentient and required it as sustenance. Fanciful theories about the purpose of paperwork aside, Kaine had little to do and the common room provided few distractions. Even the req room was quieter now, perhaps with the evening hours coming on patients were keeping to their rooms, but it wasn’t like anyone here had anything resembling a normal sleep schedule that wasn’t forced upon them. So with no patients coherent enough to talk to and the rest of the staff still viewing him as someone to be observed rather than anyone to be communicated with, like a person would be, the forbiddance of any outside entertainment ended Kaine up with little to do other than idle fancies. And to remember his strange and striking encounter with the girl from this afternoon. There was simply something about her that drew his attention, some deep and striking quality about her that had been buried behind the treatments, and if the rumors were true far worse, that she had been forced to endure. blankspace
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So when the janitorial call came for a familiar room, it was hard for Kaine to tell if he was excited or nervous to go see her again. It wasn’t like he could tell how she felt about him after all and wouldn’t someone who wanted to know you give you their name? But duty called and the road to release didn’t allow for any personal decisions. So up the elevator, he went, receiving the report of what he’d need to clean from the tired nurse that immediately left afterward. Another simple mopping job, honestly one that shouldn’t take more than a few minutes at most. When he entered the room, the sight of the small, slightly damp girl huddled in the corner of her bed simply struck him. She looked so alone and just so fragile, even though she had likely endured more than he could even, or would want to, imagine. So as he began to mop up the small pool of stomach acid and half-digested drugs, he figured he might as well try again. “Hey there. I’m Kaine. Do you remember me from earlier?” @nakachu
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 21-Feb-23 02:37 AM
She stayed in that corner of her bed for a long time. Her eyes just barely peeking over her knees in the direction of the door to her room. That door to her never meant anything good. it meant heartache, pain and embarrassment, if not many more things that she found hard to find words for. So with the knowledge that someone at some point would need to come and clean that pile she had created beside her bed, made her more aware of that door then most times. It didn’t take long before she saw a face peeking over the top of it, spotting the spot on the ground. That face then left again, but she knew it wouldn’t be for long. In a hushed voice she would start to count to herself. Usually they made it back to her within a few minutes, yet this time it took longer. Her counting reached the hundred, edging closer and closer to a thousand even before that door eventually did open. Her counting stopped and as soon as she noticed that it was not a doctor who came in, she quickly dug her head back into her knees. “Hey there. I’m Kaine. Do you remember me from earlier?” It was his voice that made her jump just slightly in her spot. Her eyes once more coming to peek up from above her knees. Even though they were still tired, they seemed a bit more bright then they had earlier. The drugs used to put her to sleep for her bath leaving her with her mind more in tact then the earlier ones had. “Kaine..” her voice melodic and soft as she looked up at him and met his eyes. There was curiosity in them as she did, her huddled positioning loosening up just a small bit. “I didn’t draw any flowers..” her mind having linked him to the flowers she had drawn on the walls, the ones that he had taken away. @lucraz
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Kaine Wright BOT 25-Feb-23 06:54 PM
“Yeah, well, apparently they’re calling me up here for more than flowers now little one,” Kaine explained with a gentle voice, a little surprised to have gotten anything at all from her given the way she had behaved and seemed during his last visit. The defensive position she carried herself in certainly made sense however, and he was sure that if she hadn’t been cuffed to her bed, she would have already been across the room the moment he entered. The moping job really only took a second or two, the floors of most “rooms” being designed to be easily cleaned and hers honestly seemed even more designed for this than most. The rumors certainly gave him guesses as to why, but really it was the marks upon this poor girl’s body that told the actual story. An outfit explicitly designed to give easier access to injections with no regard to modesty lent itself to the easy observation of the countless track marks on her body, along with the scabs that had formed over them and been broken too often to even heal properly. That was only the first sign of the poor treatment she had been through and her manner of cowering and observing him like a wounded animal really negated any reason to look for more. She had obviously suffered enough and didn’t need to be gawked at by somebody new. blankspace
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But as Kaine finished he couldn’t help but think about how his shift was basically already over and Conrad should probably already be at their station ready to take on any new tasks that would come in. The girl was likely on one of the enforced sleep schedules for less “functioning” patients as well and looked prepped for bed. There likely wouldn’t be any more tests or anyone to see her except for routine checks by nurses. So Kaine carefully situated his cleaning supplies where they wouldn’t be seen and sat in a similar place himself, careful not to face too directly towards her. “So, whoever you are do you like to talk? I mentioned coming to see you before and now seems like the perfect opportunity,” Kaine prompted, giving her a sidelong glance and accompanying grin as he tried to get her to come out of her shell. “I mean you already remember me, but why don’t you tell me about yourself some? @nakachu
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 25-Feb-23 11:19 PM
Her eyes would follow his mop as it went back and forth, a movement that almost sussed her back to sleep. It was so much so that she had to shake her head just to stay awake after he finally put the mop away and ended the rhythmic motion he had been making with it. It wasn’t till he moved himself closer towards the door that her eyes focused back on him. She believed he was about to leave, but instead he took a different course of action. He situated himself close to the door, a place where if someone were to look in through the door they wouldn’t see him. The reason Mia knew was because she had used that same tactic herself many times before. “So, whoever you are, do you like to talk?” Her eyes filled with curiosity from that simple question, some spark in them that he had not seen before. She unfolded herself from the huddled position she had been in and instead laid down on her stomach, peering over the wired headend of the bed at him. That curiosity only spiked when he seemed to wish to learn about her. It was something so foreign and alien to her that she at first didn’t even know how to answer him. “I live here..” Was the first thing that came to her mind, but he already knew that. He had seen her here, he had come through the locked door. He knew that she had no other place to go, at least not for now. She tried to think of something else that she could tell him. “I like purple..” She ended up with. “But they never have purple pencils. Only other colors. A lot of yellow, even more greens, never purple. I think someone else likes the purple ones and they hide them in their room. Why else would there be no purple pencils?” It seemed it had not taken much to get her to start talking a lot once she had been pulled over that edge. “So I took the blue one, because there aren’t many blue ones either. I was just going to hide it, but why would you take a pencil and not use it? So I painted my walls..” she paused a small moment then, her eyes focused onl
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y on him. “Did you like my flowers?” @lucraz
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Kaine Wright BOT 28-Feb-23 12:30 PM
“Yeah, the purple pencils are in pretty high demand around here,” Kaine laughed, amazed that the girl was already willing to break out from her shell so willingly. Apparently, everyone does like to talk about themselves, even someone trapped in a cell in a mental institute. Though, Kaine wouldn’t be surprised if this had been the first time anyone had even asked her about herself. After all, he didn’t even know her name since everyone else just called her 839, or some other nickname that lacked any warmth. So with a smile he just continued, maybe with this girl’s first-ever conversation. “Yeah Javier certainly likes those the most and I think he might even have a few stashed away just so he always has access to them, but it’s definitely a fan favorite around here. Though I have to admit I would’ve liked to see what your flowers looked like with a splash of purple in them,” he said, slowly starting to face her more and more as he chatted on. “They were pretty as they were, and trust me I hated having to remove them, but well… I imagine you’re the most knowledgeable one here in the hospital when it comes to the doctors being mad at someone who won’t do what they say huh?” He groused, his own bitterness at the place and how he was treated here leaking into his voice. With a small sigh, he continued on, trying to soften his voice again. After all, whatever had been done to him had probably been done to her as a small child and people believed children’s words even less than they did a grown mental patient’s. “What else would you like to draw though? If you can make flowers that pretty with only the color blue, I’d be excited to see what you could do with an entire box, new and just for you,” he asked, a small smile showing as she peered at him through her slightly damp bangs, still seeming messy and roughly cut, even after the shower she had just had. “I can’t draw all that well, but I’d be happy to draw with you if that’s something that you’d have fun with.”
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blankspace @nakachu
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 01-Mar-23 08:59 PM
Her eyes would grow a little big as he seemed to be agreeing with her about the purple pencils being taken by others. She had grown used to her worries and thoughts being dismissed, even by being called dumb for voicing such concerns. After all, the doctor did not care what color pencil she got to draw with, they just cared about her being occupied for a few moments as they cleaned out her room, or changed out her furniture. So to have someone actually listen to her in that moment, was.. strange in the very least. And this time, when their eyes met she didn’t shy away, she just kept looking at him and searching his eyes. She even crawled a small bit closer to the edge of her bed, getting a little closer even if she was still cuffed down. Only when he mentioned the doctors being mad when you didn’t listen to them did her eyes go down again. “Dr. Burke was angry..” she said in a soft voice. Her hands gripping into the blanket on her bed till her fingers went white. It only lasted for a moment though before she shook her head back and forth, making that thought disappear. Her hair moving along with it and becoming even slightly more messy. Luckily Kaine seemed just as willing to move on from that thought. “Butterflies.” The answer was instant. “They have all the colors.. and rainbows.” @lucraz
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Kaine Wright BOT 04-Mar-23 07:15 PM
“So anything with a plethora of colors for you then huh?” Kaine quipped, enjoying her eagerness. “I guess you’re really taking what I said about you using the whole box to heart aren’t you?” Kaine smiled at the thought, picturing every pencil or crayon scattered around her as she rapidly switched between them to obtain as many colors portrayed on the page as it could hold. “Though if you have that much imagination, being able to imagine a field of flowers with a kaleidoscope of butterflies flitting between them as the rainbow arcs over them, you must have other interests as well right?” He said while leaning in, his eyes glimmering as it was his turn to share as well, with an audience that appeared to be all his for the moment as well. “I personally like to read as much as I can. The hospital tends to get a lot of books as donations so at least I have a lot of options and the staff doesn’t pay too much attention to which ones I check out,” he rambled on, his enthusiasm for reading causing his words to spill out in a tumble, rushing out and barraging the young girl who mostly lived in silence and spoke in single words. With a shrug and a wry smile, Kaine simply moved past it, chopping it up to his own lack of socialization opportunities. “There were one or two that I had to hide under the mattress, but that’s this hospital for you.” @nakachu
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Patient 839, Mia Ainsley BOT 09-Mar-23 07:01 AM
“Yes.” Was her simpel answer as he figured out exactly why she wanted to draw these things. She had never been able to draw them before, not the way she wanted to. So of course they had been the first thing that crossed her mind. Her world was small in that hospital, almost even smaller then her room suggested. Her freedom limited and sometimes it felt like her every move was decided by the doctors. So even this little exchange, locking away to one corner of her room, it felt.. intimate and strange. That feeling only grew when he started to talk about himself. Her head twisting a small bit in curiosity as she looked at him. As he spoke about his love for reading books her eyes averted from him for a small moment, almost a look of shame on her face, before they once more came up to look at him. She had learned to read a small bit before she had gotten admitted to the hospital, but even that limited knowledge had started to fade away over the years. Reading had not been a skill the hospital had prioritized. “Is it fun to read?” She asked then, wondering what was in those books that he liked so much. She saw others read in the common room. Those books in their hands for hours on end, pages full of unknown scribbles being turned to the next and their eyes scanning from left to right. Sometimes she would pretend to be able to do the same. Placing a book before her and staring at it, thinking up her own words on there and turn the page. “What do you read about?” @lucraz
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Kaine Wright BOT 17-Mar-23 07:11 PM
There had been many bad days while residing at this hospital for Kaine, many words said aimed to hurt him and treatment designed to demean him. Nothing had made such an endless yawning pit in his gut though, as the face of shame this girl made as he discussed his love of reading. For something he loved so much, something that had been his saving grace in this place to be such a point of pain for this person who had done nothing wrong was agonizing. Because it wasn’t her fault. Yet she bore it like it was. As if she was the one that was supposed to magically unlock her cage and teach her all the things that had been denied her. Perhaps she was simply denied books, an arbitrary rule to simply cut her off from others, to stifle her imagination and deny her own mind, yet something about the way she was so hesitantly curious as if the act itself was a mystery to her, said something had happened else entirely. They had simply not bothered. Whether a conscious decision passed around priority, or simply an unconsidered possibility, these monsters in charge had denied her this. The simple ability to read. Something a parent would share with their child, a simple fundamental of school, a basic fact of life to most. But she had none of those. She had controlling doctors instead of loving parents, a chaotic common room to be dumped at when she “behaved” instead of an orderly and nurturing school, and certainly not a basic life. As all this flashed through Kaine’s mind, his eyes began to dampen with tears as he turned to fully face the curious girl, it was all he could do to keep his voice from fully breaking as he answered her. blankspace
19:11
“Yes. It’s very fun,” he replied with a cracking voice. “I like to read about quite a bit, but my favorite stories to read are honestly- well… Stories about people just living life. Nothing special or grand, just the wonderous act of them living their life to the fullest.” “Sometimes it’s romance, two people finding their best place and selves with each other, other times a coming of age story where someone gets to find themselves, both because and in spite of all the trouble and pain they encounter,” he explained, his voice picking up in urgency as he rushed to get his words out, trying to impart the joy of the activity he loved so much before he broke and words were swallowed by tears. “Occasionally, I try and read the ones about families. Those are either the best or the worst though. I don’t even really know how to describe it. Sometimes I’m so engrossed in one that I miss breakfast and have to hope they don’t do a room check on me, other times I can barely help myself from throwing the book away or ripping it in two.” “I-I honestly don’t know what I would have done without those books to keep me company while I was here. All of them were so precious to me, so necessary feeling, that I can’t even imagine what life would be like without reading honestly,” he continued, tears quietly starting to run down his face as he spoke, the words becoming more hesitant and choppy as he did his best to control them, to try and have them come out as he wished. “All of them, whether they made me laugh, invited me to imagine myself someplace else, gave me friends to pretend to have, or even-especially if they made me cry. Moved me so much that I couldn’t help but feel, that I desperately wanted to feel despite of the pain or because of the pain that it invoked in me. Those always stuck with me the longest honestly.” “I’m sorry you never had that.”
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blankspace @nakachu
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