ROLEPLAY HQ - life-anew

TW: mentions of suicide, possible drug/alcohol use, self-harm, death, adult content (more may be added)

Life is funny how it works, in one moment you're standing on top of the world feeling like you have the world in the palm of your hand, feeling like you're invincible in that moment. Just to be thrown on your ass in the next, everything that had been in your grasp now falling through your fingers and slipping away as you start to fade into nothing... That moment is where our story begins, with a girl with nothing left to lose and everything in the world to gain. Bright eyes hidden beneath long black and white waves and filled to the brim with tears as she sobs silently, the ground beneath her cold and welcoming as she stared down at her best friend's coffin. Hands gripped shut tightly with fistfuls of upheaved dirt. Miniscule rain drops falling from the cloudy sky above as she continued to wail. How had she missed the signs, had he reached out to her she would have done all she could have to help. She would have moved the earth for him, he had been the one constant in her life for as long as she could remember and now that constant no longer existed. Fate could be a cruel mistress and for Clarke, Fate had promised her everything only to stab her in the back and take the one thing most precious to her in life. .

07:27

"Why? Why did you do this?!" A broken sob left her, the people around her and the coffin could feel the ache in their hearts as they stood with black umbrellas around the open earth. A priest in the background paused reading the rites of the dead as she continued to wail. A firm hand was placed on her shoulder as her body rocked with each air consuming sob. She would remain that way for hours to come… Even as slowly, one by one the guests began to depart having said their own farewells they saw no reason to remain. How was she supposed to say goodbye? How was she supposed to close the door on the one person who had been her light in her own darkness? Clarke shook her head from side to side, the tears no longer falling as she had cried beyond the point and her body had nothing left to give. "Why?" It was barely above a whisper this time as she stared down at the shiny gray coffin covered in handfuls of dirt. Her heart began to pound and she slid into the square whole. She refused to accept this, refused to believe that this would be his end. She slid in the dampened earth and began to frantically wipe the dirt off of the coffin. "No, you can't. You have to come back. Please... Please!" Once Clare had removed all the dirt from the top she tried to open it, her hands slick with mud and frozen from the bite in the late winter air. "Take me with you!" She cried out, her voice cracking as she yelled into the nothingness. The mist in the air was inhaled into her lungs as she pounded on the coffin's hood. "Don't leave me alone!" .

07:27

Clarke collapsed atop the coffin, she was tired, so tired and cold. She rolled over, her back flat to the cool surface beneath her. Her eyes staring up at the cloudy sky above as a boom of thunder rumbled the earth. Eyes growing heavy she sobbed silently now. If only I could go back, if I could redo this past year I would let him know, convey all the things I held too close to my chest. I'd let him see... She swallowed the razor sharp knot in her throat. "Please...just one more chance." Clarke's eyes shut, she wasn't sure who she was talking to, she'd never been religious before. "Let me save him..." ----

07:28

Beep. Beep. Beep. A groan left Clarke's lips as she blindly moved her arm trying to hit the buzzer on her alarm. "Mmm." Cool plastic was felt beneath her fingers and she slapped her hand down causing the alarm clock to be silent. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as she groggily sat up, her eyes feeling the aftermath from all the crying she'd done. Her thick brown lashes fluttered open and she winced from the bright sunlight that peaked through the window. Another groan and she grabbed her phone from her nightstand to see if she had any messages, of course nothing. Her mouth fell open in disbelief when she saw the date. "What?" Surely the phone was wrong. It was supposed to be 2023 not 2022. She reset her phone hoping it would fix the problem as she forced herself out of the bed and to her dresser where she pulled out clothes for the day. She settled on a plain Disturbed t-shirt that cut off at the navel and a pair of faded and ripped jeans. She slipped into her Converses and headed down the stairs. She went directly to the fridge to root through for something to eat. All that crying was a lot to deal with and had done a number on her. "Food...food...Ah." She grabbed her favorite monster energy drink from the fridge. "Close enough." She wasn't particularly hungry anyway, and at least this would give her energy and something in her empty stomach. She cracked the seal on the can and took a long swig. It wouldn't be the same, having him next door and she sucked in a breath, fighting the urge to cry. "One, two." She took a couple deep breaths and made her way to the living room and right for the front door to go and get the paper from the curb. She knew her grandfather would want to read it when he got home from his shift at the hospital. When she picked it up she glanced down at the paper and the date read March 2nd 2022 and Clarke about fell over as she shook her head. Someone had to be playing a sick joke on her. . (edited)

07:28

Her brunette head whipped to the left to the house next door and on impulse she ran as fast as she could, leaping over the short white picket fence and landing on the other side. She rebalanced herself and ran up to the forest green painted door. Her hand that wasn't holding the paper pounded on the door with an urgency, her heart pounding so loud and hard that she felt dizzy. Please be real, please be- The sound of the deadbolt being undone had Clarke holding her breath as she watched wide eyed as the door opened to reveal a very familiar face. Tears instantly streaming down her face she didn't even wait for him to open his mouth as she threw her arms around his waist hugging as tight as she possibly could. He was alive, he was here right in front of her. She had been given another chance, and this time she would protect him no matter what...

Callen slammed the door of his old Honda Civic moving to the back to the car to open the trunk. He would pull out a few backs of groceries, just little things that he and Clarke liked to eat when they were show marathoning and tonight was a big one. Two Sentence Horror Stories: Season 3 had finally released on Netflix and he had held off on watching it so hard because she wanted to watch it together. He griped the bags and headed towards the lonely and empty ranch style house. While it was only floor, it was more than enough for him and he had plenty of room left over. He didn't expect to be able to afford it, but being friends with Clarke, her parents gave him a really good discount on rent for it as long as he promised to maintain the place. He couldn't say no to the offer, Clarke would have killed him if he did. Putting the key in the door and turning the lock over, he would come through the door into the living room and across the living room to the kitchen, placing the bags on the counter. He sighed as he felt the lonely air rushing around him. He couldn't help but feel it draw him in. He had gone through his life with mental issues, as many as you could count, but being on his own was both settling and horrible all at the same time. He would slowly start to put away the frozen cheesesticks and pizzas, the stuff to make brownies, among the other little things he had picked up. He thanked God for his parents, even though they kept him anxious constantly, he didn't know if he could afford to eat without their help sometimes. The Poole's were amazing people, but harsh parents. As he heard a knock on the front porch and then almost what sounded like banging of someone needing help, he mumbled, "What the shit...?" as he would begin to the front door. He would open it and what he saw would be surprising, "I didn't expect you over for a cou..." she would wrap her arms around his waist, "Whoa, I know your excited for cheesesticks, but... wait, are you crying? wha..?

08:24

@EnchantedNymph

She'd barreled into Callen with a force that made him take a few steps back, face burying into his chest. Her tears soaked his shirt as she clung to him, true to it being Callen his humor had her releasing a half sob half laugh. "C-callen." Clarke squeezed him tighter as if her life, his life depended on it. "Fuck the cheese sticks." Her words came out muffled in the material of his t-shirt but he'd understand it well enough. This day had been a good one, full of laughter and snacks and best friend cuddles on his beat up couch she had helped him bring in from the curb a few blocks down. The color was hideous, not quite red but not quite brown and there was a broken spring in one of the end cushions but it was comfortable enough for the two of them. When she managed to calm herself down enough she pulled back, her eyes all puffy from the intensity of her tears. She wiped her eyes on her shoulder as she took a shaky breath. "Just... had a bad dream." Clarke cleared her throat, her eyes still stinging and released tears that she didn't imagine would stop for awhile. "Y-you just get home? I- I called into work." She chewed on her lower lip, her eyes scanning around his place for a moment as she took everything back in. Everything was the same yet different, the air felt charged and her heart ached. When her eyes once again landed on her best friend she realized she was still clinging to him. Her cheeks turned bright crimson before she reluctantly released him and scooted backwards awkwardly a few steps. "So... c-can I hang with you all day?" @Jake

As she would say fuck the cheesesticks, he would smirk, "Well, why did I buy them," he would question as he would let his hand fall to her back in the moment, giving a soft rub of reassurance, "I know I don't eat the damn things..." He let her cry for a moment, just rubbing her back in the moment and letting her feel the emotions of the moment. He couldn't help but be suspicious over the tears. In his mind, nothing was wrong, nothing had happened. It had only been a couple of hours ago when he spoke with her before he got off work to see if she would need any kind of food or drink for the marathon tonight... "Did you and Lucas get into an argument again?" He said with a cautious question, "It wasn't about me again, was it?" He looked down at her with a concerned look as she would just ask if he had just gotten home, and that she called into work. He would nod his head at the question, she was clinging to him tighter than she had ever cluing to him, "You can hang out here all day," he would say as he looked down at her, pulling away softly, "But you gotta explain what is going on and why you are so frantic?"

13:42

@EnchantedNymph

"I-" Clarke choked on her words as she stood there, her hand anxiously moving up to tuck her hair behind her ear. She had honestly forgot about Lucas, her current boyfriend of the time. She realized then what she'd need to do and that was a mess all in itself but she knew there was no future between her and Lucas. She'd lived it and the break-up had been a stage five disaster. "You just have no taste when it comes to snacks..." The attempted playful banter came out a little dry but it was an improvement to the straight up sobbing she'd been doing. She shook her head looking anywhere but directly in his eyes. "Right. Lucas..." She tucked some of her hair behind her ear and wiped her eyes on her sleeve again to get rid of the last evidence of her tears. "I'm...going to break up with him." It was this moment that she turned her eyes to him. She knew he liked her, hell she had always had feelings for Callen but had been too afraid to explore it, not wanting to lose her best friend. In the previous run through of this year she had turned him down, her fear had been too great and in the end he... A knot formed in her throat again as the imaged flashed through her mind of what she had stumbled upon so many nights ago before the reset. It had been Clarke who had found his note... Had been Clarke who had ran from his living room to his bathroom where she had found him in the tub. The blood... His wrists... Her eyes fell to them now, tears filling her eyes again. .

04:02

"We just aren't...right for each other." Her eyes traveled back up to Callen's face, noting the mix of emotions that crossed his face. She wouldn't let him slip through her fingers this time. "I-" How could she explain she knew he would commit suicide? That it would be her who would discover his cold and lifeless body. The note that was still fresh in her mind even now as she stood there in front of him in the flesh. The guilt that coursed through her veins. Clarke closed the distance between them, her arms wrapping around his waist as her forehead fell against his chest with a slight thump. "I just need you, okay? That's it. All I want..."

04:02

@Jake

"Ah, no taste when it comes to snacks, eh?" Callen would say with a snicker, as he would look down at the girl, their height difference apart when they were close to each other like this, "Well, guess I won't be making the garlic butter pizza rolls for you anymore, will I?" When she stated that she was going to break up with him, he looked at her almost confused, "Wait, what...?" he would say with a head tilt like you would see a puppy do, "Yesterday, you were just so excited for him and you to go to the lake this weekend? Remember, you all were going to ride on his grandpa's big boat?" His head just continued to tilt as he listened to her as his best friend would begin to tear up, almost feeling like she was going to break down at any moment, "Are... are you sure?" He didn't want to discourage her from doing it because he did see how happy he made her, but in the back of his mind, a small jealous part of him was almost screaming for her to just do it. Do it now. Stop dating that douchebag and come to me his mind would scream, but he didn't have the courage to say it. He was almost afraid that he did verbalize it when she rushed over and wrapped her arms around his waist and said that she needed him, "Me? You want me...?"

15:25

@EnchantedNymph

"You take those away from me and I will gut punch you Callen..." Clarke chewed her lip, her eyes closing as she held him. It was true, the old Clarke had been excited for the weekend and what it would have entailed but the current one? She knew what truth this weekend held, the heartache in which it would lead to. The beginning of the end; if only she had had the foresight she had now back in the original timeline none of this would have ever happened. "Me? You want...me?" The question, the way he had said it and the fact that she knew where this was leading, she knew his feelings now... It had all been laid out in his final letter. Her heart squeezed, her hands gripped onto his shirt even more so now, tugging him against her even tighter. Even now as she knew what this meant, how it would make him feel, it was terrifying. Taking the step that she had never thought to take before. Sure the feelings had been there but... "Yes. I'm tired of pretending I don't." I don't want to lose you again. I love you. Please just stay. Her thoughts were a swirl of ache and loss, the memories of his death flashed through her head for the tenth time since her eyes had opened. "I'm-" Clarke closed her eyes for a moment, her whole body shaking. "I'm doing this in the wrong order. I should have broken it off with Lucas first. I-" She let go of him then, realizing she was letting her emotions dictate everything instead of using her head logically. "Callen I-" @Jake

"Yes. I'm tired of pretending I don't." Those words, those sweet and beautiful words he had been dying to hear. It was almost a hundred and eighty degree turn from what they had previously discussed. He would remember back to the first time that he confessed his feelings to hear, but to hear her say that she didn't wanna ruin the friendship, it stung. However, he would continue to stay friends with her, not wanting to lose her in his life. They had been almost life long friends after all, why would he want to step away? "I'm..." she would continue to speak as he would just listen for the moment, not wanting to rush or make her second guess those words, "I'm doing this in the wrong order. I should have broken it off with Lucas first. I- Callen I-" Before she could finish the sentence, Callen would do something that he would either kick himself for later on or thank God that he had the bright idea to do it. He would lean forward and let his lips fall to hers. In the moment, nothing else mattered. The sounds, lights, space around them just seemed to disappear as his hand cupped her cheek and his lips fell to hers. She wore a very tangy tasting lip balm, he would always smell it on her, but today... she just tasted like his... The kiss lasted a few moments, he would fall back for a moment, lifting his head from hers. He didn't feel anything or hear anything in the moment, apparently neither did she as the sound of his truck was not heard as the voice of Lucas would speak up, "What the fuck is this!?"

04:16

@EnchantedNymph

It all happened so fast yet seemed to go in frame by frame motion as Callen cut off her words as his lips came down on hers. It felt like one of those cheesy moments they'd see in movies and made fun of. The ones where the cameras swirl around them slowly and the sound of fireworks erupting around them as they kissed. It was magical, it was the thing that solidified in Clarke's mind that he was alive, that she was here in the now with the boy she had let slip through her fingers the first time. Just as quickly as the moment had started the perfect clip in her life was ruined by the sound of Lucas's yelling. Her heart left from the height it had been and came crashing back down into her body like a freight train. Her eyes didn't want to tear away from Callen's face but she had to. Quickly she moved closer to him. "Lucas... I-" There was nothing she could say that would make this right. Nothing she could do to rectify what was about to happen but needed to happen regardless. "We need to talk." @Jake

"Why the fuck is he kissing you!?" Lucas would say, an obvious question that now all three of them would have, "I fucking knew better than to trust you, fucker, it is always the best friend, huh?" He would begin to step forward towards him, the aggression in his step noted. Callen did not step back, but he did not proceed with aggression either, he just stood there. Almost dumbstruck over the moment in question. He would sigh as he looked at the ground, almost ashamed of his actions. "Clarke, you better explain what the hell is going on right now?" he said with a anger that could not be matched in his tone, "We were going on the fucking yacht tonight..."

17:26

@EnchantedNymph