I look at you coldly, trying to make my hurt into anger. Trying to hate you for asking, for making me feel what I don't want you to see. What I don't want anybody to see.
I try, but fail. It's too fresh, more hurt than any sort of anger. My eyes drop to the floor, moving across the room without really seeing anything until they stop on the burned wreck of the palace. For the longest moment, as I look at the place that was once the home of everything I loved, I'm back there, with my tutor, in the library while we pour over an old tome. We hadn't really been reading the musty old book. It was just a way for us to be close, to have his hand on my thigh under the table, for me to whisper in his ear, for him to catch my chin, smile for me, and kiss me so gently.
His face, his beautiful smile, turns to dust before my eyes.
I look back at Fleck, at this orc that bought me, tears falling steadily. I drop the contract and try to step back, only to stumble as I bump into a table. I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my waist. I don't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing me cry, but I am powerless to stop it.
"I killed him, Fleck!" I say quietly, struggling still against the tears. "I killed him! He was trying to help me, to stop me and I killed him!" Finaly a heartfelt sob breaks through, and I lower my head and cry.
Grief, pain, heartbreak, anger, all of it comes out as I sob. The tide of emotions is overwhelming. Once it breaks free I can't stop it. I cry until I feel ill with it. Until I feel empty of tears. Only then do I try to speak again.
"I loved him! He loved me, Fleck!" I look up at you, despair in my eyes. "He tried to stop me! He shouldn't have touched me! I should have died!"