Lazari listened to him, her eyes glazing over as he told her he would not kill her, how life was a gift she was trying to squander, how lucrative his deal could be to her. Her eye twitched as she sunk back out of the world, seeing the lab, the screaming, her silence within the recesses of her mind as her body worked on auto pilot, doling out organs and lobotomies with her trembling hands. Her face twitched now, rage building as her shoulders tensed and her eyes glanced up at him.
“No? You say…lucrative?” Her voice shook as if she was about to laugh, but tears welled up in her eyes instead.
She was glaring, staring at him with hate and contempt that she felt was for him, but could only truly be placed with her father.
“How dare you? How dare you presume Hell would be anything more than a fucking cakewalk compared to what I am trapped in!”
She was trying to control herself, trying to temper her broken-hearted rage, but something snapped inside her when she realized, all she had to do was make him hate her, to lash out once, and she would be dead.
“I own you! I brought you here! I could send you packing! And you defy my wish? Wherever I go, the Society will be on my trail! I don’t need your fucking lecturing, I need to die!”
She thought a demon would like to have her soul, to torment it and play with it, even that sounded better than suffering one more surgery, and yet he was trying to make her make a power play? Lazari was exhausted, not just from the day, but from dragging her body around day in and day out. She trembled as she looked down at her hands, staring into the horrors that they committed, tears dripping into her palms. Her emotions were running rampant, making it impossible to think of a future that was anything. No matter who was with her, Cornelius would have their scientist, would have her, would own her. Her bleary eyes shifted back up to the demon, which she now only felt hate for, just as she hated the life he was trying to offer.
“If my father finds you here, if you don’t kill me, I will trap you here, his little experiment. You either kill me or suffer!”
Lazari looked like she meant it, her contempt was palpable, pulsating inside of her heart with the rhythm of her blood flow. Her fists clenched as she looked into its many eyes, her own darting around his form, looking to the golden chains. A hollow feeling began to develop inside of her, the one which dragged her out of the present and nestled her in the back of her mind, the numbness and blankness of her usual self. She grabbed her hair in both hands, putting her head between her knees, trying to stay present. This only served to enhance the sorrow. How was she to care about a life when all she did was take it? She did not deserve this chance he offered, she deserved death, she wanted death, it was all she craved. No amount of money, power, or influence, none of it served her. It could rectify the situation, it could topple the people around her, but she knew in her heart that that single moment of cold silence before her soul entered Hell was the only piece she would ever have.
She focused her mind on the floor, taking in each loop, each crevice, and knot inside the wood. Her mind hummed, wondering if it mattered anyway, should she pick up the scalpel tomorrow and slit her throat, would it even matter? She did not want to do it to herself, she had tried and failed so many times, fifteen if her scrawlings were correct. Lazari needed this formless thing to do it himself.
“Please…this is all I want from you. I just want to die. I have nothing here, only the blood that stains my hands. A father who will stop at nothing…a tainted name, a tainted mind…I just want to die.” Her voice was nothing but a whisper by the end of the sentence as she shivered in her chair, crying.
It was a rather pathetic scene, she was sure of it, but did not care.
@Al the Killer